I finally had a day where I didn’t work in the evening; it was the same day as Matt’s birthday party his dad was holding for him. Unfortunately, it’s also a day that my mom doesn’t have an aid there (they’re only there for a few hours). So I called my brother up and asked him to come home a few hours before the party started so both my boyfriend and I could go. He went on some rant about how it wasn’t his problem, he has his own plans, and I should respect him enough to be willing to sacrifice my plans for his. Nevermind the fact that nearly every time I do make plans, I end up cancelling or postponing them because of him randomly leaving the house for days and days (he had been gone for two days when I asked him to come home). 

He just came home tonight and decided to go off on my mom, saying he deserved to live like a “normal teenager”. I agree, but the problem here is that I’ve yet to live like a “normal” young adult. I had to take care of him since I was about sixteen/seventeen, and after my high school graduation, I had to take care of both him and my mother because of her disease and my dad’s lack of responsibility. He was out with another woman and her kids; he didn’t have the time or money for his biological children. And even now, ten years later, I’ve still sacrified time, money, school, work, and a social life to make sure my brother and mother are taken care of. So when I get payment back for all of the years I wasn’t able to live a “normal” life as a teenager or adult, I’ll start being more considerate about bothering my brother about changing his plans. Until then, I really don’t care.

I also took his computer. It’s cool, he said I could. I told him over the phone since he was rarely ever home to use it, I’ll just take it back. He said “Okay, fine.” And this time I’m not giving it back. At the end of July, he’ll be moving in with our dad, who’s decided to give him a few hours of attention here and there now. My mom will no longer recieve any child support from him (like he was paying the required amount anyways), and can now afford to get my brother everything he’ll need to live comfortably, including a new computer. My brother acts like both my father and he are constantly persecuted and punished just for being who they are. “It’s not my fault I failed my classes. My teacher wouldn’t take the late homework,” my brother will say whenever we get his report cards. “It’s not my fault I can’t take him to school, I’ve got to pick up [girlfriend’s name]’s kids. You’ll have to do it,” my dad when I asked him to pick my brother up from school when I was at work.

I told my brother that I stopped talking and interacting with our dad because of the way he acted, his life decisions, and the way he treated me. He moved out of the house and left a seventeen year old girl to take care of his sick wife and six year old son. Every night I turned down chances to hang out with friends, to go to movies, to go to prom, and instead stayed home and cooked, bathed, and cared from my mom and brother. Every night he was gone with his other girlfriend and her kids, only returning to do his laundry and eat our food.

My brother only shows up at our house to eat our food, take showers, and do his laundry. Then he leaves again for several days at a time.

He just left again.

Oh boy! My brother’s home and is acting like an even bigger dick than usual! 

Seriously considering being a cam girl if I can’t find decent employment during the summer. See how much I can make off of that. Ha ha.

I’ve read about women paying for college with that stuff. The only downside is when/if people find out and try to shame you for it. Pffft… can’t ever leave anyone alone, right?



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Yep. Doing this.

(via protego-et-servio)

155786 Notes


1/8th Scale Homura Akemi: Haregi version from Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Available on the Aniplex+ website till May 7th. 

(Source: goodsmile.info)

73 Notes

321 Notes

Novel workshop went well. I definitely know a little more about how I need to structure my novel. I won’t do the past/present thing anymore because that’s just too much. Character development, though. I FUCKING NEED THAT SHIT.


shinji missed the dress code memo

You Can (Not) Swag


shinji missed the dress code memo

You Can (Not) Swag

(Source: angryjaeger, via evange1ion)

3764 Notes

Hedgehog’s Dilemma

So here’s the first part of my novel opening. Let me know how everyone liked it. Copyright: Me.

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Bored and playing with my cupcake jewelry.